Why Do I Let It Get To Me?

Its funny how simple typed words can just make you wish you could reach through the computer and grab someone by the shoulders and shake them. Hard.

The infamous and sometimes annoying pro-ABA group in my state is on my nerves again. It seems I find more bad than good from this group on a daily basis. The senior members hate the school districts, hate biomedical treatments and even in some cases hate any behavior modification except "true" ABA. Hate is a strong word, so maybe they are just disillusioned?

I say this because a lot of this group has been around 10+ years, and they just don't seem to be up to date on the current happenings within other parts of the community. Because ABA worked for THEIR child and nothing else did, then that MUST be the cure. Wow, had no idea these parents were doctors and scientists. And because a treatment that you feel as a parent has helped your child, notice I said HELP, not CURE, you are a loon for even thinking of it, and God forbid you actually do it.

The backstabbing, back talking and general rudeness of this group shall not be missed by yours truly. The fact that they refuse to be open minded and objective is their downfall. I've NEVER dismissed their opinion to do a certain type of behavior modification for their child, one that they as parents feel is the best for their child. So why should my choices be treated as wrong? Am I not entitled to the same courtesy?

Folks, this is our hugest problem as parents with ASD children. We are fighting each other. I've said this until I'm blue in the face. Why can we not accept the fact how we each choose to treat is our choice. You might not agree with it, or follow that treatment, and that is well within your right as a parent. So PLEASE STOP making other parents feel awful for their choices.

We need to ban together and DEMAND help. We need our insurance companies covering autism and treatments associated with recovery. We need our states to help provide services. Take Pennsylvania, they have a very good start for help within their state. No child is denied and coverage is available quickly, no waiting lists, and is financially reasonable for families. We live in the United States, and one state should not be providing better services than the one next door, we are doing our children a disservice. Insurance companies charging premiums should not be allowed to deny our children coverage. If our children had cancer, leukemia or diabetes we could find help. We could go to any major city and find special treatment centers for them, special programs, and free and low cost services to help those without insurance or low income.

I encourage you to treat your child as you see fit, as their parent. But I also encourage you to start state Parent Action Coalitions to demand services, coverage and help. Demand this from the insurance companies, demand this from your state medical and school services. Stop suing the districts into the ground and instead make a stink and get laws changed. You might get the $50k to run YOUR program but what about the rest of the parents in the district?

For those of you in Oregon, stay tuned. I want to launch a Parent Action group soon. I want us to have a law that requires private and company health insurance to provide behavior modification coverage, like that of Indiana. I want to demand that there isn't thimerosal in vaccines given to children and pregnant women. I want our state to look at the program in PA and start something similar.

Yes, that's asking a lot, but it can be done. It can only be done with parents willing to help, willing to step up and demand this. Lets stop fighting each other, and start fighting the system that is not helping our children.